In most relationships, cheating is the be all, end all. Many people, myself included, feel that cheating is one of the worst things that can happen to you in your relationship.
Many people also think that once a person cheats, what’s to stop them from cheating again. Once a cheater always a cheater, right?
So what happens when you cheat on your boyfriend, but you want him back? Typically, when someone is cheated on, they think about the fact that their special someone was with someone else, and that their partner doesn’t feel the same about them.
They also think that the partner who cheated didn’t have the respect, trust, loyalty, love, affection, maturity, honesty, and connection because they ended up cheating.
However, in some rare cases, your boyfriend may be willing to consider getting back with you. Believe it or not, plenty of women who cheat on their boyfriend wonder the same thing you are.
That question that is constantly on your mind “how do I get him back after I’ve cheated on him” is something that has been thought of plenty of times by tons of women.
You are lucky if he wants to reconcile and fix things between the two of you. If he is doing this, then that is a very good sign. However, you have lots of work you need to do.
Read on to learn how to get him back after you cheated.
Step 1: Self-Reflection
Although self-reflecting may seem that it won’t help you with winning your boyfriend back, it is a very important step.
Since you did an act that essentially ended your relationship, and shook your boyfriend’s world, you need to know why you hurt him, and what you had.
Did you cheat because you were bored in the relationship? If so, make sure you want to be back in that relationship. You need to read into what you did and why you did it because if you were bored and cheated, you may not actually want to win him back.
You need to make sure you are committed to him, and your relationship and that you do want to be with him.
Did you cheat because it was a spur of the moment thing? If that’s the case, you could have done that for an array of reasons such as you being subconsciously bored, you were mad at him, drunk while partying, or just saw a really attractive guy and thought about cheating randomly.
No matter the reason, it is important to also read into why you caved into this spur of the moment thought. It is also important to realize that if you were looking for a man to have some fun with, then maybe your relationship isn’t satisfying you enough.
If that’s the case, also make sure you are willing to work and fix your relationship because you don’t want to hurt your man all over again.
Did you cheat because of problems in your relationship? This is a big reason behind why a lot of women cheat.
In fact, a lot of women who have cheated on their boyfriend have said it was because of problems such as being mad, sad, missing him, or not feeling that spark anymore or even just being annoyed.
No matter why you cheated, you need to know why, what went through your head, and you need to make sure that you know in your heart and soul that it was a mistake.
This is really important because if you are successful at getting your boyfriend back after cheating, then you need to make sure you actually want to be back with him, and that you won’t cheat again.
Lastly, you also need to self-reflect because in the early stages of getting your boyfriend back, he is going to want to ask you a million questions, and you owe it to him to answer in a manner that is honest to both yourself and him. Meaning, you can’t say “I don’t know”, or lie, if you want to get back with him.
Step 2: Own Up To Your Mistakes
Come clean to your boyfriend and tell him everything. Although you will see how much you are hurting him you must continue as it is the only way to move forward.
He needs to see that you are not lying and that you know what you did was wrong. Additionally, remember the pain you are causing him, and reflect upon how that makes you feel.
This will be a helpful reminder to you. It will constantly remind you to not cheat on your boyfriend as you will hate the pain you are putting him through.
However, if you feel no pain, then that means that the relationship isn’t worth fixing, you want something else, and you should leave to avoid hurting him again.
As well, when learning how to get him back after you cheated, it is important to remember the best way to do this is, to be honest. Meaning he will ask you lots of questions and you must be honest and open.
You will also have to continue being transparent for a very long time (in fact, it’s best to be this way in general throughout the rest of the relationship).
Step 3: Apologize
As redundant and obvious as this may sound, you must do this a million times. You were the one who screwed up and cheated, you cannot be mad at your boyfriend for taking his time and having issues accepting your apology.
Another important concept to note here is that actions speak louder than words. Not only will you have to say that you are sorry, but you will also have to show it through what you do currently, your body language, emotional responses, and through your actions in the future.
Step 4: Give Him Time And Space
As much as this may seem like a difficult task, you will need to give him time for his heart to heal. He will need time to think and space to breath. While he is taking this time, you should also plan and strategize ways to gain his trust, and ways for you to start making things right between the two of you.
This may seem like a stressful time period, so the occasional text is alright, but in reality, he will need to digest what you have said while you were pleading your case to him.
After a week or so, the two of you should talk, and work things out even more. You should also make a game plan and decide where the two of you are going from there.
Cheating is something that kills relationships and can deeply hurt your partner. The best advice is to not cheat. However, things happen and people do cheat. Luckily, YouQueens’ four steps on how to get him back after you cheated should help you figure out what to do.
Once the two of you make your plan and start to work things out, it will take a lot of time and energy for the both of you two, to return to how you used to be. However, it can be done if you continue to show him how much you love him, and give him reasons to feel the same about you. You also need to show him that he can trust you and that you are sorry.
Remember, he is allowed to be hurt, sad, and. He is also justified with having trust issues, and taking a long time before the both of you can get back to normal.
It may seem impossible at first, but if you show him this, then it will hopefully work. Hopefully, you will also have learned your lesson and will never cheat on your boyfriend again.
If you can think of any others ways for how to get him back after you cheated, feel free to share!